Killer Petunias
by scarlett onyx
Summary: The Scarecrow has upset Poison Ivy...and escaped without a scratch.  Or has he? -one-shot-


**DISC: I don't own Jonathan, or Pam. **

**(The idea for this one-shot came from one of my lovely reviewers- "highland girl 1592" thanks so much! : ))**

Jonathan Crane was _fuming_. How _dare_ that…that…green-skinned _weed_, tell him that he was little more than a pest. How _DARE_ she even _insinuate_ that he wasn't scary!

He WAS scary. He was _terrifying_. He was the Master of Fear! The LORD of despair! If only she wasn't immune to his toxin…

Well. He'd shown her. He'd whacked the heads off a couple of her precious "_babies_" on his way out. Yeah. The look on her face had been worth it. She hadn't even _tried_ to retaliate. She was scared. Yes. Scared of _him_. As she should be.

The Scarecrow strode along the side of the street, pushing past anyone who got in his way. He was nearly swaggering now as he thought of how she had looked at him. Her eyes wide, her mouth hanging open. Ha! _Idiot…_

He paused to rest a minute, flopping down on a bench strategically placed by the side-walk. It was an uncharacteristically hot day for spring and the sun beat down unceasingly on Jonathan's head. Trying to escape its searing rays, he bent slightly, absentmindedly looking at a crack in the sidewalk. Just then a small stem slid out from it. The Scarecrow blinked. Did he just… That wasn't… Nah. He was seeing things. It was too warm. He'd just been out in the sun too long. He sat back up. It was time to go home. He'd go inside and make some nice fear toxin…he stood.

And promptly fell over.

Jonathan's eye twitched. What the…

Something was constricting his ankle. He looked down. A single strand of something green was wrapped around his leg. As he watched, a bloom the size of his fist opened on one end of it. It looked like…

_A petunia._

No. No…no…no…

Pushing himself up, Jonathan leaped to his feet, drawing glances from bystanders. He glared at them all, for once finding himself agreeing with Tetch- "_If everyone minded their own business, the world would go around a good deal faster than it does…"_

As he got up, the relatively weak stem of the plant snapped.

Jonathan moved back quickly, staring at the rapidly wilting flower on the side-walk. Then he breathed a sigh of relief. That was it? She really _was_ stupid.

Then it happened.

With several small *pops*, petunias began appearing all along the sidewalk in front of him.

And as one, they opened. And roared.

The citizens of Gotham have seen many things. They have seen the Joker laugh, Scarface order Arnold Wesker about, and Victor Zsasz's brutal killing sprees.

But most had not seen the Master of Fear running pell-mell down the streets away from a bunch of flowers.

They stared after him, gawking, sometimes needing to be shoved out of the way so Jonathan could continue running from the homicidal greenery. They were _everywhere!_ One snapped at him.

He dove to the side, eyes wide.

_IT HAD TEETH! _

The _petunia _had _teeth!_

_PETUNIAS WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE TEETH!_

Jonathan headed for the street, hoping the flowers wouldn't follow him. But they blocked his path, rearing up around him.

He was trapped.

The furious flowers were closing in.

So _this_ was what death looked like. Death was orange and pink. And had very large teeth.

"Has he said anything else?"

"No, Dr. Leland. Just "the flowers" over and over."

"Alright, Dr. Thurman. It may take a while before he fully recovers. He's just lucky Batman got there with the weed killer."

"Yes, I hear he's still looking for Ivy."

The two doctors watched the Scarecrow, who was curled up in his cell, one eye twitching slightly. "The flowers…"

And somewhere, Pamela Isley laughed.

**A/N:**

**Ok. So I wasn't sure how to end this, and obviously I didn't want ol' Jonny boy to die. So I let Pam gain the upper hand. Poor Jonny…**

**Oh and don't let this fool you. **

**I am still a fan of the Jon/Pam pairing. So if you are too, don'tkillme! This was just a funny idea I got from a reviewer! : ) so I hope you liked it!**


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